Dreaming Awake

  

This pic was taken last year september in Peru. A trip about which I have never written . It has been the most unique experience of my life. This pic is one of my favourite pics of all time. I woke up one morning and stepped out of my tent and I saw this all around me. I had woken up into a dream. It was surreal.

Here is to the hope that we may have many more such mornings. Good morning world :) !

..........

A loss of control. Thats what I have been feeling last few days. My life as I know it, my dreams as i painted them are a haze at the moment. I clutch it with all might, but like sand it slips though and leaves but a grain or two. A memory of a dream.

I hardly recognize myself today. Emotional, over wrought, nervous and insomniac. Just one more week. Thats all. I know Ill be myself again.

For everything, I love you mom and dad. I just can't say that enough. And to you who loves me even when I am like this - Thank you :)

BomBay

Found this pic online a while ago. It made me ever so nostalgic. Marine drive esp. It is a metephor for my carefree adolescence. Days of doing nothing. Going by A1 bus, or the Andheri slow from platform number 7 all the way to "town" for shopping, eating and whiling away precious time. It was always a special outing simply because of the time it took. In a lot of sense it epitomises our naivette. For believing things I brush away as foolishness now.

Bombay - the city that never sleeps, the city that never says die, the city that rocks and rolls, the city I grew up in, the city i grew older with, my city, my love.

11/7/06

Why on earth would the Indian media publicise the blasts as 7/11 ?? In India, atleast when I was there last which is about 4.5 months ago 7/11 would have meant 7th of November. Although I now live in USA I still sign dates as Day Month and year explicity ( 7th of July 06 for eg.) unless i am asked to fill a form in a different format.

This probably stems from a desire to equate in some form the blasts to 9/11. Or perhaps a deep rooted desire to fit some sort of western world phenomenon in our society. Both 9/11 and "7/11" are horrific acts of cowardice by people who dont know any better. But can't we in India simply call its 7th of July blasts? This is not the first set of blasts that Bombay has seen nor the first disaster it has been through. The city that it is it has always risen above its image and stereotypes every single time.

Why equate it ever to NYC? They are both wonderful cities in their own right. This hollywood-bollywood 9/11-7/11 wannabe attitude is a complete put off. We don't have to be "America" to be great. We don't need a 9/11 equivalent to fight terrorism in our own land.

Dont look West. Look within yourselves and find the power to change - yourself, your surrounding and hence in the larger scheme of things, the world - one human being at a time.

Chutti.

Remember when it would rain so hard that you didnt have to go to school? Makes me smile . Even better were the days in undergrad when it would rain so hard that one had to be mad to plough his way through the slush and knee deep water to go to college, but we would, knowing that most likely classes would be cancelled, because some of us belonged to those who went to college not to attend classes but to hang out with friends. Eat samosa pav at the most unhygenic place in the world and dry out and chat and go back home only to eat some more and chat with the same people on phone some more.

Today at about 4:15 pm, as I was trying to kick off a simulations I got an error warning about not being able to proceed. After a few tries i call support and she says she will look into it and get back. Walking around the corridor i find a couple of more people having the same issue. We get some coffee chat laugh and I get back to my office and support calls at about 5 saying its not going to be fixed anytime this evening.

My delight at that is childlike. we give eachotehr highfives and I happily call coolboy who is working very hard and very angry at being disturbed with such childish happiness. But its the exact same feeling. I dont have to stay and finish. I can go home. I am free. Its a wonderful feeling because its so rare in a work environment.

Deep breaths, a broad smile, a free spirit. Chutti.

How far is heaven?

I am on the road to God knows where. Perhaps ... nowhere. Lost and confused. Cold and lonely. But I need to find out where it goes. I have to follow it. No. I can't turn back. I've come too far for that. And i believe that the snow will melt. I believe there will be spring. I only have to keep on walking and I will find my paradise.