....and all that jazZ

Monday, October 20, 2008

Through the Looking Glass

As Diwali approaches, there is all the excitement that precedes it. The excitement that I have learned to create in my 8 long years away from home. The excitement that is a far cry from what it used to be, and still is when I am home. But it is today what it is. So I have done my shopping, am making plans for cleaning. The evite has been sent out to invite friends to join in for an early weekend celebration.
But the sense that childhood has been left far behind is unshakable. And not having Patti around to kick start the festivities makes the celebration hollow. Faith needs a support system sometimes.

"Do you remember still the falling stars
that like swift horses through the heavens raced
and suddenly leaped across the hurdles
of our wishes--do you recall? And we
did make so many! For there were countless numbers
of stars: each time we looked above we were
astounded by the swiftness of their daring play,
while in our hearts we felt safe and secure
watching these brilliant bodies disintegrate,
knowing somehow we had survived their fall."
-- Rainer Maria Rilke


There is nothing like spending an evening on the beach on a weekday, bang in the middle of the week. Its like sitting at the fringe of a tornado. One step backwards and the week, the routine, meaningless urgency of things will engulf you and swallow you alive and you can struggle all you want, but the only thing worth preserving in that chaos is your sanity, which strangely enough can only be found at the fringe.

So off we went. The two of us. With B-school having eaten up most of our married life and money, we are left with few moments that are priceless, to find joys in life that are free. We went to the beach on Wednesday evening. Parked and started walking along the tracks. Found a little bench that offered us a perfect view of the setting sun. It was right in front of a beautiful white house, which must cost the heaven and the earth, that had glass windows and a little garden. In the garden were beautiful flowers and a lovely patio furniture set. I looked longingly at the house for a few seconds and then turned my back to it, and sat on the bench.

Another couple soon came along and perched themselves on the sand, the bench being taken. They had a little bag from which out came a bottle of wine and two glasses. They poured themselves a glass each toasted (to Life perhaps, I thought) and sipped silently as they (as well as us) watched a glorious sunset.

I turned to Coolboy as we started on our way back, hand in hand, "The bench doesn't cost us a cent, and the sunset is free. Next time we'll bring wine too." Without missing a beat he said "Maintaining a sea-facing house is such a hassle in any case. The sea breeze really increases wear and tear". I smiled.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

I am...

As I walked across the little lawn in front of my apt to get home, I got caught in the sprinklers. I ran across them, but still got little wet. From the "dry zone", I stood for a minute, happy, remembering a childhood form another life. The kids who usually play there in the water on hot days were missing that day. On a whim, I ran back into the sprinklers, stood right in between two of them for a good whole minute before I got conscious about looking silly. Walked home slowly across the wet grass and dried myself.

I was not always 29 years old. I was once just a toddler, on another day I was a chubby 12 year old, some days I was a goofy 17 year old, another time a dreamy 24 year old.

For that whole minute in between two sprinklers, I was "Happy" years old.

Saturday, October 04, 2008


"....thirak thirak thirak thirak thirak jaane de kadam,
bahak bahak bahak bahak bahak jaane de kadam,
chal na aaj had se guzar jaye hum,
thirakte bahakte nikal jaye dum,
thirakte bahakte nikal jaye dum,
mar jaye, marke bhi jee jaye hum…...."
(From Khoya Khoya Chand, which btw is a beautiful movie)

Another night spent dancing.
Another full day spent listening to wonderful music.

I live to dance another day !