Chapter 17 - The "patronus"

Some nights when the weight of memory
feels like a burden,
I have to quickly reach and
pull out the happiest one,
The one that makes me feel
like that was the moment -
that the world came into being
for me to be sentient.
That instant,
makes me worthy,
Makes it possible to
endure this moment.

I hug the children
longer,
tighter,
and whisper into their ear
when they sleep

"Can I be your happy memory ?"

To Mowgli,

It is one thing that I have enjoyed the Harry Potter series as a 20 something. Its another thing to enjoy it through the eyes of a 8 year old. Find the things you glossed over as an adult, ridiculously funny. Change who your favorite characters are based on how your child perceives that universe. Cry because an unprepared 4.5 year old is crying when Sirius black dies only to be told by the 8 year old "guys - its fiction.". When we got discussing what our patronus would look like, I was clear mine had to be a dolphin. Ponyo thinks hers would be a Tiger. Mowgli is not sure. He wonders what his happiest memories are and his eyes fill up thinking about his grandfather and he cries " But I dont know what I remember of him anymore". My heart just aches and aches. He says "maybe my patronus will be a Phoenix. One that rises from the dead."

Luna Lovegood concludes book 5 with

“Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.” 

Lets never stop waiting, and lets never stop looking for signs. In the meantime, lets keep filling our banks with priceless memories.

Love

Amma.