....and all that jazZ

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Notes from Amchi Mumbai !

So I was discussing this with Shru how the word "home" can have multiple connotations when I was at the airport. A place you have lived for enough can also become home. How naive I was. Home is simply just where my heart is. And I knew the minute I landed that I was "home". There is no other home for me. Not yet :).

Bombay can change its visage but never its spirit. Not even two days since I landed and I have eaten out, travelled by bus, train and rick. Started using "Bhaiyaji" like I never stopped saying it :). Polluted and dirty and crowded and humid and hot and yet smiling and welcoming. "Yeh hai Bombay,meri Jaan ?"

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Merry Xmas !!

So what should I write about. There are a million images and a ton of sentiments in my head and my heart. Its Christmas, And its christmas in NYC. Two days and I am head over heels in love with this place. Its sheer energy. The very life it beathes. Or just its pace. Style panache attitude, the city has it all. I love the lights on the street. The christmas decorations all over the city especially in Rockefeller. I love the way the multitudes move in the subways and i can simply lose myself and drown in my world. I love the buzz on Times Square. I love the tall plush buildings. I love that in two days i go home and to the only city that can better this.. Bombay !!

Merry Xmas and Happy New Year !!

Monday, December 22, 2003

Okay I am not the only one. Richard Feynman felt it too. So I was reading about his experience with dreams.. and it was like I was describing mine. Great minds dream alike ??? *Grin* . Scary and bizarre are those dreams where I am terrified. So terrified that I start telling myself "wake up.. its only a dream".But I am stuck. I cant wake up. I try to shout. But I dont have a voice anymore. Its like something is holding me down. I cant move. I know if I can move I can wake up. But I cant. Petrified I use all the strength I have in my head and wake up scared and exhausted.

God knows I need a vacation :-) !!!

Friday, December 19, 2003

The buiding is emptying out. Smiling faces. "Happy holidays"."Merry Xmas to you too." The ones that are still in are restless and cant wait to get out. Like children that wait the end of the school day. Happiness is contagious. And its floating all around right now. Free is the word.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

On the same note.. how much I love being busy, As I type my daily log, my eyes constantly shift to my Unix station to chk if the sims running okay. There is this sense of urgency. Break is round the corner and people shuttle in the corridors looking busy, and visibly ruffled. How much can we get done in a week ?. I glance to my to do list which is ever increasing with just one single thing checked out. Everybodys feeling important coz everybody has tons of things to do. Isnt that weird. How easy it is to make someone feel good wanted and important at work. Give them tons of things to do. :). Anyways.. gotto get back towork. Am feeling real important. :-)

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

And I love being at the heart of it. People slowly walk in. "What floor?""3 please. Nice morning, aint it ?". Dead walls come alive. As the breathing infuses life into it. The constant sound of typing. "Coffee?" asks my neighbour and we walk to the machine as we make small talk. Check my watch and my calender. Pick my music. Headfones on and there is now only me and screen and the music in the background. Knock on the door. "Come in". "Quick question..."
I check the watch again. and look out through Pete's window. Its dark and past 6. Its inviting and saying "come on now...". Traffic lights and still cars. Swap work clothes for tracks. Need to exhaust myself and free my mind. "How was your day". We sit on the couch and I read my book occasionally watching someone making a fool of themself on TV till I fall asleep. Its just another day out of my life.. and I love being at the heart of it.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Hunger Pangs

Have only sipped water since 5:45 am that i got up. Fought LA traffic to and fro. Not to mention the British Consulate. *growl*. Rushed into work to see that shit has hit the roof. Dont have the time to go grab anything. No energy either. Miss my mom and patti running after me begging me to eat. Miss mom cooking all my favourite dishes.
Will go home in the evening and eat some cereal. *frown*

Monday, December 08, 2003

"Unlucky in love... Lucky in poker...."

"Unlucky in love... Lucky in poker...." is what they said as we sat on the table. Four stingy CNXT employees playing for money. Fake ofcourse. But we were stingy nevertheless. Tequila with lime and salt helped a bit. Manged to wipe out B which was pretty much the objective of the evening. I made a good amount of fake money by simply gambling recklessly. Decided that the "good girl careful with her money" is a waste of time. Apple-tini, the catalyst, did its best to make me that wasted woman who plays away her money on a friday evening. Come saturday and the lucky streak continued. Made more fake money at the QWI party on a blackjack table. Instinct is sure a strong emotion. Sometimes its bang on and then the dice is predictable. Sat there a man who read tea leaves. Told me that I have great amount of spiritual energy. That I can see through people and can sense things but I dont talk about it. I am holding back things that put me on a different spiritual plane. I asked him eventually."How lucky am I ?".. which pretty much would cover every aspect of life. He said that my luck was inside me. That I will find that I can wish myself things. "In short you are very lucky". I went and gambled and made some more fake money.

I dont believe in tea leaves. I believe I was lucky because the money was fake. I hope this streak of luck in fake poker does'nt mess up my luck in true love. :) :) !!!!

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Remember Remember ?
When we were younger...
When we were stronger...
When we wanted to fight...
When we thought we were right...
When what we did was fashion...
When our story was full of passion...
When everything was a dare...
When there was no care...
When there was no yesterday...
When tomorrow showed the way...
When I was there with you...
When we spoke of making dreams come true...
Its not so long ago but it seems like forever...
Remember Remember ?

Monday, December 01, 2003

Food for thought....Brought back from DeathValley

There is something about vast expanses of nothing.
Silence is a state of contradiction..because it can speak.
Hostility is a way of saying "Keep out". It has its origins in nature.
There are all the colours we know, and then we see more.
The infinite stars making the darkness alive... there is so much beyond human grasp. Thank God.
The world is bigger than I know and my world is smaller than I imagined.

Hope you had a good thanxgiving.