Unke Hastakshar - Amrita Pritam

Sat down with a hindi novel for the first time ever. Reading in hindi is altogether a different and great experience. English, all said and done is the langauge I am most comfortable with. Coz I think in english. I emote in english best. Even my mother tongue Tamil does'nt put me in that comfort level. I lapse into English talking in any other language. So reading in hindi was a great experience. I was forced to read slowly to appreciate the language. I was more let down by the book itself and its filmy crappy storyline. Was like reading the script of one of Ekta Kapoors soaps. Once i got comfortable.. (a good 30 pges later) I was reading as I would read in english. And then I just wished I was reading a better book.

Halloween

I want to carve pumpkins and light candles in them. I want to make pumpkin pie. I also want to wear a costume and go to a a costume party. Unfortunately I seem to be the only one in my circle of friends who has such inclinations. The spirit has left everyone else untouched. How disappointing !!!!

Sometimes its not that easy at all. Infact, its never easy. You can offer someone your friendship and affection. You can't expect them to accept it. You can be there for someone, you cant expect them to turn to you for support. You can wait all your life, you can't expect them to find you. That is the thing about giving yourself. You can't expect anything in return. It has to be selfless and complete. Thats what makes it so pure. So divine.

I have been saying this to myself every day. But its not working as well anymore. It's always easier said than done. :-) !!!

Not many people wake up in the morning and say "Oh what a lovely rainly day ". I am one of those who do. Turned on the radio. "Showers from last night will continue throught the day and tomorrow. Flood alerts are being posted in lieu of the impending thhunderstorm this evening ". Flood warning ? What flood ? Where flood ? I-5 perhaps !!

Never missed garam chai with Marie biscuit and the good old TimesofIndia in hand more. The best way to start a morning. To work up a breakfast appetite smelling the aroma of moms cooking wafting in with the chilly wind.

Am really excited about work these days. Getting something done is a great feeling. Nothing better than a productive day. C is moving offices. Have'nt stopped giving him crap for it. Two reasons. 1. I love having him next door to me. I can walk over and ask the stupidest questions. Take a break from what i am doing. Not that his new location is far off. But it is furthur down the corridor. I wont be hearing Ciao Bella early(??) in the morning as he enters. Wont hear him slam his keyboard cursing in Italian :-) !! And he can't complain anymore about hearing me singing my indian vodoo songs through the wall !!
2. And he is leaving me for a window office. He will have a window !! I am soo jealous. My window looks at L's and P''s office across the corridor and L always keeps his window blinds drawn. What a waste of a window office. Its like being dumped for a better looking girl !!! :-) . Not quite as bad.. But I am soo mad and soo sad !!!
But like all guys he says " My heart will always be here. "

Ya Right !!!

Okay. Ever since I was initialted into the habit of venting my feelings on a blog, I have been a regular visitor on a couple of other blogs. On one particular one I only read. Never leave any comments. Too many people commenting anyways there. But the owner of the blog very diligently always replies to each and every comment. He is also a prolific writer. Writes almost every day or so. And every post has an opinion or is a comment on something that happening around. A strong relection on the type of person he could be. :-). Always wondered. Know a couple of such people here too. Who have a say on everything. And it makes me smile. I am a talkative person. And recently I was also told that I am self absorbed. Maybe I really am. Come to think of it, most of what I post here pretty much revolves around me and how I feel :-). Again a reflection of my personality ???

Maybe I should write about what I think of the ongoing presidential debates. I can sum it up in one sentence. I dont think much of it. :-) !!!

QCT party is happening again. If you read my post from a year ago you will find that I really had fun. I might go agian this year tomorrow. Am in such a fix. I have nothing to wear. Every woman has this problem. A closet overflowing with clothes but not one thats ever right for an occasion. We are always forced to shop. Fashion can be such a pain. Guys will wear suits and women those cocktail outfits.. which I refuse to buy because I KNOW i will never wear it again.
Plus this year everything is different. A lot of the equations have changed. The one person on whose arm I want to be seen is'nt even going. Well lets see how it goes. Will let you know tomorrow.

Chanced upon this..

Love's Philosophy

The fountains mingle with the river,
And the rivers with the ocean;
The winds of heaven mix forever,
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one another's being mingle;--
Why not I with thine?

See! the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister flower would be forgiven,
If it disdained it's brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea;--
What are all these kissings worth,
If thou kiss not me?

- Percy Bysshe Shelley

Now tell me how many Hindi songs do you know with the very same theme :-) ???

I saw Phir Milenge. I really liked it. I feel very strongly about AIDS education in India. Which today is more important and relevant than ever. Casual sex is no longer about wrong or right (I wonder why it was in the first place). Its not about God or religion. Now its about protecting your own life. The rate at which the disease is spreading is alarming. Promiscuity is more reckless and foolish than just wrong. Kids in college tend to believe that it can't happen to them. Why college students.. everyone thinks the worst is always something that happens to others. Being aware is just the first step. Not the solution or the answer.

I had this huge discussion with some friends. Back in junior college,on one fine AIDS day they were distributing condoms in the graduate college building, which is incidentally shared with 11th 12th std kids. Some one said that it was not a good idea coz it would give kids the idea that casual sex is fine as long as it is protected. And didnt quite seem to appreciate the idea. But honestly what is more important here ? Ethical and moral decisions are each to his own. An AIDS epidemic transcends those. Its time people started openly discussing sex in India. And as mature people. Not through sleazy movie promos and videos.

Better late than never... Better safe than sorry !!

I know I am sounding hackneyed and am really stating the oft repeated obvious. But hey thats what is fresh on my mind and what I have been discussing with my friends over the weekend... so wanted to put in down in black and white :-)

There is this song... Chandni Raatein. The video has city lights all fading and this person sitting alone. Reflecting over a lost love and estranged life. I used to love the song and the video. Finally have it on my hard drive, and have been listening to it all morning. I can so clearly see the video in my head.
Sab Jag soye, Hum Jage,
Taaron se kare batein,
Chandni Raatein.

It really touches an unknown chord. Last night had the most bizarre dream. That I have taken a flight home on an impulse. And after i get home I start panicking coz I havent even bothered telling anyone at work either. After much contemplation I decide to send an email to my managers saying "I had to leave for Bombay due to compelling personal reasons. I will be back in exactly two weeks from today. My work is ahead of schedule right now so I dont think i will be affecting any deadlines. Please send me email if there are any pressing issues."

Now that is somethign I wish I really could do... Take off on an impulse. I do so many things on an impulse, but ironically the things I would most want to do on an impulse have been given so much thought that its not really an impulse anymore. You know what I mean ?

:-) :-) Another work week. And this ones going to fly by too.