....and all that jazZ

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

The toughest battles are always fought with ones self. When rationality clashes with faith. When the heart clashes with the head. When desire clashes with courage. When "Can I ?" clashes with "Should I ?". There is no right and wrong. I stand at the fork and wonder. If I don't then I will always wonder what if I had ? But perhaps spare myself some humiliation. But if I do, I will know for sure. I will hurt for a while but be at peace for ever that it could never have been any other way.

I years had been from home,
And now, before the door,
I dared not open, lest a face
I never saw before

Stare vacant into mine
And ask my business there.
My business,¬ójust a life I left,
Was such still dwelling there?

I fumbled at my nerve,
I scanned the windows near;
The silence like an ocean rolled,
And broke against my ear.

I laughed a wooden laugh
That I could fear a door,
Who danger and the dead had faced,
But never quaked before.

I fitted to the latch
My hand, with trembling care,
Lest back the awful door should spring,
And leave me standing there.

I moved my fingers off
As cautiously as glass,
And held my ears, and like a thief
Fled gasping from the house.

- Emily Dickinson

I would hate for you to think that I am weak. But its not my weakness that brings me here. I had to muster every bit of courage, don't you see ? And now that I have, I am no longer vulnerable.





7 Comments:

  • I hate it when my heart & my head have a yelling match. Heartaches & headaches for every one concerned.

    Originally @ Jun 23, 2005 06:05 PST

    By Anonymous Manjusha, at 4:55 PM  

  • TRue. Thanks for stopping by.

    Originally @ Jun 23, 2005 09:08 PST

    By Anonymous Who else !, at 4:55 PM  

  • That is where you need a fundamental moral code. The sufferrings and heartaches can still not be avoided, but a strict moral code always gives one a satisfaction of having stood by one's beliefs.

    -- Akshaya

    Originally @ Jun 23, 2005 22:21 PST

    By Anonymous Akshaya, at 4:56 PM  

  • Some things have just nothing to do with morality. Anyways I feel morality is a very abused term. Plus it has only to do with the self. Ethic however is a different story. :)

    Originally @ Jun 24, 2005 08:29 PST

    By Anonymous Who else !, at 4:56 PM  

  • U r rite abt no rite and wrong..the trouble arises when your rite becomes the other's wrong.
    Btw I recently visited ur blog n am a great fan :)

    Originally @ Jun 26, 2005 09:59 PST

    By Anonymous Ruchika, at 4:56 PM  

  • Tell me the difference (in thought and action both) between morality and ethics!

    Yes it has everything to do with self and its that self you are talking about. No one needs a moral code defined by others. But without it the man will choke himself to death. Most of us do have a moral code, however corrupted as others might see it. Nothing else can help you in a state of indecision.

    Originally @ Jun 27, 2005 06:41 PST

    By Anonymous Akshaya, at 4:56 PM  

  • Ruchika : Thanks

    Akshaya : Now that is a huge debate by itself. Lets save it for a rainy day :)

    Originally @ Jun 27, 2005 09:51 PST

    By Anonymous Who else !, at 4:57 PM  

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