Eyes Wide Shut

Ka felt that heaven and hell were the same place. It was precisely because childish joys turned into living hell that he felt the joys so keenly. Memory is a rather convenient tool we have at our disposal. We can filter and amplify our thoughts and impressions ( consciously or subconsciously) to achieve a state of mind that puts us at equilibrium with what the heart whims.

We can go through life, choosing to ignore that which disturbs our conscience, the reasons into which I do not have the capacity to dwell, pretending that it never happened or that it was not our fault or in a lot of cases where it does not even concern us.

I have not watched Schindler's List or Hotel Rwanda. I know exactly how it plays out and the reason perhaps I am avoiding it is that such truths, the depravity, haunts me for days at end. I saw Amu this weekend. For some reason since that evening, scenes from Maachis have been playing in my head. I am asking my self over and over again.. how can the powers that be let all this happen? How can people, why other people, how can I stand by and watch. Then I find myself digging deep into my thoughts, opening shut doors, poring over images and stories that have imprinted my soul and my mind keeps out.

And I am asking myself.. will I ever find the courage? Will I do the right thing? Will I be able to open my eyes and... SEE ?